I wanted to share with you a blog, which I wrote 7 years ago. At this point in my life, I was going through one of the worst bouts of depression that I have ever experienced (yes, I suffer with depression). It has taken me a long time to admit this out loud and it used to make me cry to even mention the word to my nearest and dearest. Now, I can say it because it doesn't make me any less of a person. It doesn't change who I am or what I am capable of. It doesn't change what I love, who I love or what I am passionate about. It doesn't change my drive for life or the things I believe in my heart to be true. But it is honest. It is something I always have to be aware of and it is one of my biggest tools for letting me know when something in my life isn't right for me. I have never taken medication for it, despite being told more times than I care to mention that I will not get better without it. And I am very proud to say that I accept it totally for what it is...a condition, like any other, that when it flares, means I needs some time out, some R 'n' R, to reconnect with me. Medication for me won't mend it. It won't stop it ever coming back. It will just mask the problem and I like to tackle things head on in my life with all the passion I can muster.
Now, that isn't true for everyone and please do not take my words to mean that I think medication for everyone is bad. I 100% believe in a collaborative, intelligent approach to all illness incorporating all aspects of care at the right time, for the right reasons...and should I ever feel that I cannot manage on my own, then I would absolutely accept the help.
The most important thing in this life is that you do what is right for you. That every decision you make is with honesty and integrity, and honours the beliefs of your mind and soul. If that is true, then any path chosen can be taken with no regrets, regardless of what anyone else thinks.
Anyway, the blog below I am sharing with you as one of the first things I wrote. I was already a fitness professional, but going through a particularly sticky patch. If you have been following my blog you will know that November is dedicated to you and your self care. I hope that this blog helps someone to make the right decision for them this month and maybe just to be a little more forgiving for where you might be right now.....
So here we are... and here I am. I think.
I am going to be as honest and open as I can, a challenge for me at the best of times. I have spent my life being guarded and self reliant. More as a way of keeping the world at arms lengths than through strength. Without stripping out every nook and cranny of my past, I have had struggles with self esteem, self hatred, depression and blah blah blah! Wo is me, right? Wrong!!
Sometimes, people go through things and hit low points in their lives, but it is how you recover from these challenges that sets the bench mark for how your life will be. I have certainly faced my fair share of rocking and rolling through my short 23 years on this earth, but I do not plan to get to the end of my life and wonder 'what if...?'
So, I decided I had to change. No one else was going to do it for me. I have faced physical and psychological illness, but the reality of what I was hiding from through all my other behaviours is what hit me harder than anything I had ever experienced before. I tried for years to let them go; to not blame people; to keep pushing forward; relentlessly pushing and getting no where.
Guess what... blinding pushing forwards doesnt work. Ignoring how others treat you and trying to continue through life with your fingers in your ears, singing very loudly so you cant hear all the horrible things that go on around you doesnt work. Being honest, open and self forgiving, does!
My goal in life is always to be the best I can be. I am going to be the best I can be!!!
LESSSON 1: learn to breathe properly... breathe in the good, breathe out the bad!
If you have anything to reflect on what you have read or would just like to touch base with me, please do so by either leaving a comment below, emailing me at rrawcoaching@hotmail.com or on my facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/RRAW-162741567119599/)
Take care and remember, you are just as important as everyone else xx
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